Moneylenders are CREATIVE creatures

Posted by jessbabe on Tuesday Jul 28, 2009 Under Funny SHITZ

Still feeling the Monday blues on a Tuesday!!

Here’s something to laugh at…

TAI EE LONG COMPANY
UNLICENSED MONEYLENDER
In order for us to expedite your loan application,
tell us a bit more about yourself:


Why are you applying for a loan?
[ ] English Premier League
[ ] Private hospital bills
[ ] SMS contest

When was your last visit to a highlands resort?
[ ] less than an hour ago
[ ] less than 24 hours ago
[ ] less than a week ago

Why did you come to us?
[ ] Credit card reached limit
[ ] Cannot re-finance car
[ ] Nothing left to pawn

How do you intend to settle the loan?
[ ] Blank post-dated cheques
[ ] Surrendering ATM card and password
[ ] No idea yet

Which part of your body do you think
requires remodeling?
[ ] The face
[ ] The torso
[ ] The limbs

How did you settle your previous loan?
[ ] Visited Michael Chong
[ ] Made a police report
[ ] Attempted suicide

Should collateral be required, which
of the following will you pledge?
[ ] Wife
[ ] Sister
[ ] Mother

How did you first hear about us?
[ ] Calling card in letterbox
[ ] Stickers on lamp posts
[ ] Neighbour’s sudden death

Where do you normally hang out at 3am?
[ ] Mamak
[ ] Casino
[ ] Feng Thou discos

Office Use only:

Accept/Decline/Investigate

Additional documents required:
Passbook/Passport/Birth Cert/Utility Bills

NO COLLATERAL OR GUARANTOR
INSTANT APPROVAL
ATTRACTIVE INTEREST RATES
1 WEEK – 30% per day
1 MONTH – 50% per month
3 MONTHS & ABOVE – negotiable
This agreement is made between Tai Ee Long Co (herein known as TELCO) and the borrower (herein known as the client) under the following terms and conditions:

The client agrees to keep the loan active for a minimum continuous period of 12 months from the date of approval. Otherwise, an additional agreed fee of RM 500 shall be charged to the client.

All interests calculated on an hourly basis.

The interest for the first day/week/month will be automatically deducted when the client receives the loan.

The client agrees to declare/report any sudden windfall such as casino or lottery winnings to TELCO within 3 hours.

TELCO reserves the right to display client’s picture and loan details in his or her neighbourhood, children’s school, place of employment/ trading.

The client agrees to hold harmless TELCO for any harm inflicted upon the client and his or her family members in the event of payment delays.

TELCO reserves the right to collect all outstanding loan and interest from family members, relatives and friends upon client’s sudden demise.

I, ____________________________ (the client and undersigned) hereby agree to all past, present and future terms and conditions as dictated by TELCO.

Loan amount:
Repayment period:
Alias:
Address:
MyKad/IC no:
Mobile phone no:
Name of children’s school:
Wife/Husband’s workplace:

_____________________________
Signature & fingerprints
Dated:

Please attach current passport size photographs:

Front View
Side View
Rear View
WARNING: LATE PAYMENT MAY RESULT IN INTERRUPTION OF AIR SUPPLY TO THE LUNGS

Aren’t they getting more creative???

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What’s your FLAVOUR?

Posted by jessbabe on Friday Jul 24, 2009 Under Friday Fansextic

Friday horny is talking. I need some good inspiration sex topics to talk about.
Tell me what you’re interested in and perhaps that might be your topic next week.

Lots of fetish fetish…

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We’ll see

Posted by jessbabe on Wednesday Jul 22, 2009 Under Soul Talk

It’s weird dwelling upon you.

The fact that I wake up every morning and wished I was not in my bed.
Perhaps he might be right,
perhaps I still enjoy fooling and playing still.
Perhaps I am not ready for IT.
I still want to tease and play my game.
I don’t want to be held down yet.

The past months have been crazy.
The swarm of bees on the honey is tempting.
Sweet talks, fine dining, fast rides, surprise gifts.
Materialistic? Dreamy?
I’m on luck.
I found my lucky charm.

This lucky charm was a gift from someone special.
I threw it away once upon a time,
I forgot how it sits on me.
Through the days,
I told myself better days will come.
The past week has been marvelous.

Two weeks from now,
I’ll be away from this familiar place.
I am going to a foreign land,
a place where I want to be,
a place where blue skies are,
a place where laughing seems to be my second job.

As soon as it may seems,
I did no wrong.
I owe nobody apologies or explanation.
Feelings developed.
My heart itches when that number appears.
I chose to flee.
I chose to try.
I chose to fail and fall.

These were the days,
I will turn on my music player,
singing the love songs.
Ironic.
Cheesy.
Funny lyrics that keeps me giggling at 4am.
Tunes that keeps me humming when I stripped naked.

I remember watching this particular TV series,
keeps me hoping, keeps me dreaming.
I told myself,
it might happen,
it might not.
End of the day, I take my chance.

This time,
I smile and say.
We’ll see.

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ReinVented parties

Posted by jessbabe on Monday Jul 20, 2009 Under Super Weekends

Friday night was a mess. Kent V Party at Maison. Riding in Nissan Fairlady Z makes me a slutty beast. Fast cars turn me on. Turns all heads around when boy drives pretty girl in pretty beast.

I spent my Saturday in JB. My virgin trip there was interesting and absolutely one of the best work trips ever. From temperamental air-conditioner to running out of fuel to late rehearsals to corny uncles staring at my yummy buttocks to supper with 4 greedy monsters.

Met a pretty boy. He might be gay. DAMN! I need to stop attracting sexy boys.

One more week and I’m away again. Shoes, dolphins, bikinis, ladyboys are waiting for me.

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I don’t feel like it…

Posted by jessbabe on Friday Jul 17, 2009 Under Friday Fansextic

I don’t feel sexy today or rather the entire week. I think the money trouble ain’t making my days better.

Busy?
Stress?
Tired?
Headache?
Time of the Month?
Not in the mood?

Sounds familiar???

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