Tonight,
I am frustrated.
I am pissed.
I didn’t know how to react,
I didn’t know how to scream,
I didn’t know how to cry.

All I felt was a feeling I can’t explain,
a feeling that choked me hard,
a feeling that tonight will never end,
a feeling that tomorrow would never come.

Tonight,
I wanted to cry.
I wanted to hug.
I wanted to hold on to someone.
I wanted to finish a bottle of vodka.
I wanted to try drugs.

It is all the escalated emotions and mixed feelings I’m going through.
It is killing me.
I think I’m falling into depression.
It might just be mood swings.
Might just be hormone changes.
Might just be something really bad about to happen.

Tonight.
I don’t want you.

I’m definitely going through a phase right now.

I have not been sleeping well the past 3 nights.
I think I have insomnia.
My eating habit is nutcase.
I’m gaining weight. Literally.

I learned to listen to depressing bands.
I seemed to like them a lot.
I am very disturbed, distraught.

A sign of depression?

I don’t understand.
I am still trying to figure out.
Perhaps I am dying soon.
Perhaps I have some weird terminal disease.

This is my life now.

Charissa’s 21st @ Bodega

James Carr

Hennessy Artistry @ Quattro

CC’s 22nd @ Velvet

Ultimate love : Dancing at the bartop

I don’t want to leave so soon.
I am having too much fun right now.
I just fell in love.
I just found life.
I just found Guinness Stout.
I just found girls who sincerely laugh with me and not at me.
I just found my compulsive need to buy bikinis even if I have owned 40 pairs.
I just found boys who sincerely want to be my friends with me and not my pussy.

I need a happy party soon.

Once upon a time,
I believe in love.

Once upon a time,
I believe in fairytales.
Till the devil killed my knight.
Till it shattered my heart.

Tonight,
I witnessed a miracle.
I witnessed love.

Then,
I questioned my doubts,
my strengths,
my heart.

Tonight,
I saw a better ending.
I smiled.
I have figured it out.

Tonight,
I believe I would fall in love again.