When one can’t swim, can’t dive, conned into an island with 10 others and wonders amount of alcohol (a bottle of : Gin, Tequila, Jagermeister, Vodka and Single Malt Whisky; tonnes of beer and soju) available, the trip becomes pretty trippy. Seeking luck with black-tipped sharks, bright life jackets, long awaited meals and bottomless fruit juice, banana pancakes with ice cream and hot Hershey sauce, lame jokes, sweet joints with the Korean and German instructors, reggae music blasting from the dive centre, flirting with the local boatmen, toasting my soon to get skin cancer, marvelous imitation of the superheroes by David.

Sand, Sea, Sun, Soul and Sex

Toasting tequila shots for a new friendship.

The graduation bong for all plus a shot of any desired liquor. Note: nonnegotiable.

Tamara, the founder of the flicking finger jolly torturing tiny Ee Phin

I swear she personally like to be flicked by the boys.

Revenge is pretty sweet when the girls flicked their instructor.

No flicking allowed, do the squats.

Me and the ChiBai. When cat jumps on me, you are not supposed to laugh out loud. And laughing out louder when I am crying ain’t funny at all. Karma hits hard.

I’m not a beach boy, he says.

Day One : Why is the sky blue? *it is not a tricky question*

Wei Ling says, “To get reception: stand under the sun, dip your leg in the water and wait”. That’s how my back has three different shades of brown.
Ruby says, “I think your vodka gave me tummy ache”. Who drinks vodka and get bad tummy?

The wonders of photoshop.
David, Ruby, Eric, myself, Joe, Jeff, Ee Phin, Diana, Monita, Wei Ling, Alvin, Eugene (L-R)

A month ago, a trip with five other girls stirred me. The short four days together in a secluded haven, game of questions, alcohol intervention beneath the blue sky, rehearsing my eminent gratifying loud laugh, twisted limbs sharing childhood crackers.

1. Have you ever picture this 3 years ago in that class?
   
2. Do you believe in angel?
   
3. Does guidance slips momentarily?
   
4. Does your body moves as your brain speaks?
   
5. Do you dance when nobody’s watching?
   
6. Do you blow happiness away?
   
7. Do you enjoy the beautiful view up there alone?
   
8. Does the staircase matter?
   
9. Do you climb and slip?
   
10. Have you turned around and smile at the present?
    
11. Do you believe in love?
    
12. Do you aim for the sky?
    
13. Can you fake a smile?
    
14. Does beauty overlaps your judgment?
    
15. Have you ever fly without wings?
    
16. Have you face your fears?
    
17. Do you dream?
    
18. Do you drive your life gleefully?
    
19. Does your life spells colours?
    
20. Can you picture this in ten years time?
    

Current song playing: I was made for loving you by Kate The Cat
Tonight
I wanna see it in your eyes
Feel the magic
There’s something that drives me wild

When the days soar, the nights sweat.. you still have the rainy evenings to look forward to.
When love is an agenda, somehow she made it real.
When threesome is a game, she made it simple for me.
When my day seems gloomy, it’s sunny in her heart.
Ice mint cigarettes, green tea frappucino, I’m charmed.

Today, my dream is alive.

Quote the Broken-Hearted Fashionista, “Girls who don’t get along with other girls make the best girlfriends!”

Lunch with two girls. Two broken hearts, one in love. Two fools still holding on. Hard.

Cafe filled with working adults, I am not sure I want to step into that world just yet. I looked at the sorrow she goes through, how each time she speaks of him, her eyes almost red, almost teared. She hugged me tight, I did not know what I should do next but to hug her back as tight. Situations like this, she doesn’t need a word, she needs a place she feels in love again. No matter how much silly she thinks she is, I told her, I was a bigger fool. One that keeps me dreaming, hallucinating, denying. I don’t want her or anyone to tell me I am stupid and I should let go because I know I am stupid and I should let go. Instead, I want to feel the pain, I want to suffer so that one day I will wake up, feeling stupid and eventually letting him go. That’s the stupidity in me and my idea of love.

The appropriate song to play now : Broken by Lifehouse

I told them what sort of person I want to be in 2010. They looked at me and laughed deliriously.

I told them about my 2010 motto. They simultaneously responded ‘karma‘.

They never judge because that is what real friends are. They listen, nod, look at your silly face and laugh it off. They don’t tell how crooked or how wrong you are, they know who you are and you are YOU.

Recently, my blog posts and tweets preach dark, agony and depressing messages. The two girls have plans to make me feel good about writing such disheartening blog posts. Committing suicide is never my thing, so don’t you worry Mum. It’s just my way of expressing my days. Writing my thoughts out has always been satisfying. I never expected high blog readership due to my lack of general happiness.

Speaking of 2010. This year, I want to conquer my fear. My immense fear of driving in KL.

I’ve been avoiding.

Tonight, I faced reality. I told him the truth. False hopes, misleading promises. I broke his heart. I came so close to stabbing my own thighs. Temporary attraction led me to an unknown state of mind. This high was here only for a short moment. I want the old drug back. Those times I have no fear, I was soaring high, flying up in the sky with his hands right next to mine.

Tonight, so many times, I wanted to take back my words. I knew I wasn’t strong enough, I cried thinking about the good times, I laughed thinking about the crazy times. I did not want to trade these words and lose a dear friend.

My best friend.