A month ago, a trip with five other girls stirred me. The short four days together in a secluded haven, game of questions, alcohol intervention beneath the blue sky, rehearsing my eminent gratifying loud laugh, twisted limbs sharing childhood crackers.

1. Have you ever picture this 3 years ago in that class?
   
2. Do you believe in angel?
   
3. Does guidance slips momentarily?
   
4. Does your body moves as your brain speaks?
   
5. Do you dance when nobody’s watching?
   
6. Do you blow happiness away?
   
7. Do you enjoy the beautiful view up there alone?
   
8. Does the staircase matter?
   
9. Do you climb and slip?
   
10. Have you turned around and smile at the present?
    
11. Do you believe in love?
    
12. Do you aim for the sky?
    
13. Can you fake a smile?
    
14. Does beauty overlaps your judgment?
    
15. Have you ever fly without wings?
    
16. Have you face your fears?
    
17. Do you dream?
    
18. Do you drive your life gleefully?
    
19. Does your life spells colours?
    
20. Can you picture this in ten years time?
    

Like a kid again, six girls away from the city.
In the plane ride, listening to Broken from Lifehouse. Just the exact feeling when I left the 1800 sq feet unit on Sunday.

A trip planned two months ago, nothing but alcohol, sun, beach and girls. I could foresee the amount of highs and lows from the alcohol, silly laughs and probably tears of miserable loneliness.

A silly friend left his debit card and cash intentionally in my grey bag. Feeling appreciated and treasured. A trust he holds in me should not be taken granted for.

Champagne bottles and tequila shots, drowning on you.

‘People always leave..

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Four days away from my city seems too short. Harden feelings were neglected at the wee hours of the Bangkok city. Cash transactions and pouring heat, Bangkok seems a perfect place to escape. I was dumbfound, so is the city. The language and culture I yet to comprehend, I prefer my hidden sanctuary. The four days away in the haunted city, filled with pink cabs, cheap fabrics, dolly schoolgirls and iced coffee.

Conflicts and beers, I had both. You learned best when you have no help, ignorance and stubbornness – I fought with myself. Cheap bargains and unbeatable price, I lost my war. Four days in Bangkok, I lost my will to fight. I gave in and paid a heavy price. Broken, I am.

Departed, I have. I will be back and continue my war.

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Times like these, I want to come home.