‘People always leave..

Read More

Empty hall, bright pendaflour lights, keyboard tapping.

Here I am, at 2.43am still trying to figure out why you said the things you did on Sunday.

I am too fragile. Too fragile for anyone. I realised the two years relationship tormented my soul and desire to build a trusting one.

I am beyond torn. I gave up and you surely proved my theory. Thank you, karma.

Current song playing : How Could An Angel Break My Heart by Toni Braxton
I wonder if she makes him smile
The way he used to smile at me
I hope she doesn’t make him laugh
Because his laugh belongs to me

Last night, you pulled me as I pranced to you. We made sweet sweet love. You lit the candle and kiss me like never before. I surprised you with my bad kitty costume, for a moment, I could almost felt your arousal.You placed your hands on my back, grabbing my fleshy bum. The dim candle flame lights up the room perfectly, perfecting the climax I desired. Keren Ann’s voice drowning in the background. I was making love to you. It wasn’t another episode of lustful sex, it was two person forgetting about the world’s hopes and hatred, gazing into his eyes and giving him the pleasure of his life.

Lucid dream.

I slept and dreamed. I dream of you and me, that past weeks we’ve been spending time together till I woke up and realised, who am I kidding now. You woke me up, you broke and shattered me into pieces. I was torn, I still am. Days ago, we shared moments I stole from the stars. It was just days ago, you light up my face when I see your name appeared. This morning, you killed my dream. Our kisses in the elevator, your kisses linger on my shoulder, our sneaky fingers under the table.

Like White Boy suggested, I should start counting my fingers in real life.

Four days away from my city seems too short. Harden feelings were neglected at the wee hours of the Bangkok city. Cash transactions and pouring heat, Bangkok seems a perfect place to escape. I was dumbfound, so is the city. The language and culture I yet to comprehend, I prefer my hidden sanctuary. The four days away in the haunted city, filled with pink cabs, cheap fabrics, dolly schoolgirls and iced coffee.

Conflicts and beers, I had both. You learned best when you have no help, ignorance and stubbornness – I fought with myself. Cheap bargains and unbeatable price, I lost my war. Four days in Bangkok, I lost my will to fight. I gave in and paid a heavy price. Broken, I am.

Departed, I have. I will be back and continue my war.

Read More

Times like these, I want to come home.